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A Man Card

A few folks, Doc Steech http://drsteech.townhall.com/g/76e89f69-0961-43a9-a768-e4098f6b7e25, and ScarletPimpernell http://scarletpimpernel.townhall.com/g/41d8ae74-34c1-4b67-88b6-7ba82fa03e2a, recently posted about being men, manly men.  Doc gave a list of things men must do to be "men", and Scarlet took the other side, missing arguably the most important game in his teams's history to see a Chinese dance with his wife.  He introduced the term "man card".  These two ideas gave me the inspiration for this post. 

So, What is a man card?  How do we earn them?  Do we go by Doc's list, or is it something else?

I like the concept of a man card.  It first reminds me of the show with Jimmy Kimmel and Adam Corola that used to be on Comedy Central.  Yeah, the one with girls jumping on trampolines and drinking beer (a former guilty pleasure-- before marriage, of course :) ).  That idea of manhood was that men are beer drinking, women loving, oafs.  It was funny, and men are funny.  With independant, single focused, and get-it-done attitudes, we can be a bit irrational.  And with an appreciation of the finer things in life, like cars, planes, farts, balls and the fairer sex, we become yet more irrational.  We are funny, men.

As Doc's list mentioned, there are certain things must do or have done, to get their man card.  The items on this list are kind of like badges of honor, and men like badges.  We like to be honored and recongnized.  Also the items on his list are things to do.  We men like to do.  We like to tinker, to fix.  We like to figure it out on our own.  Again, this, coupled with our attraction badges makes us do some interesting things.  And our appreciation of fine humor, combined with the above two gives us a sense of true sophistication.  But, by successfully attaining and completing these tasks, we gain "man cards".  The more you have, the better.

And finally, I mentioned our appreciation of the fairer sex.  Women are our ultimate badge.  To get the good woman is the indeed the best badge.   And with the things we do to get the woman, we are often put in a bit of a bind.  See, to gain the ultimate badge, or the ultimate "man card", we must all too often give up the others.  We must go to the Chinese dance instead of watch Kentucky play USC.  We must watch the tear jerker instead of watching flick with all the explosions.  We must hold hands, or act cuddly when out in public.  Each of these is a man card subtracted for most men. 

But for the ladies, such things are often ways to gain "man cards."  So, this whole idea of "man cards" just became a little more fun...  What the heck are we to do?

The million dollar question: what is a man to do?  A man is first and foremost to be a man.  We are to stand up and be men.  We are to assist and fix and do.  We are to appreciate our sense of humor.  But we also are to respect, honor, and love that ultimate card.  That card needs our attention more than the broken car. 

That said, ladies, you have to respect our view of our cards.  I think a true woman will, and that a true  woman would want a man with many (appropriate) man cards.  So, ya'll are not off thehook.  If you expect you to be the only card in their pocket, you are cheating him, and yourself.  And BrianR, over at Scarlet's had a great idea-- what are chick cards.  And I have seen requests for lists for women over at docs...  How 'bout it ladies?

Alas...  Man cards.

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Hard to Believe

After Jimmy Carter recently published a blog about me and my patience, I have to say in some areas I am losing it.  Witness this quote, from our a friend of mine, in a discussion regarding abortion:

"What is the problem with consequence free sex. I would like my sex consequence free, having an abortion is a consequence if proper sexual protection was not used.

This quote is hard for me to fathom.  What is the problem with consequence free sex?  What a wonderful thought, things, anything, without consequence.  Man, wouldn't life be good?  Think about it: what would life be like if we could do whatever we wanted without consequence?  On the surface, it does sound great, but lets look a bit deeper.  Is sex, or anything, really ever consequence free?  Absolutely not.  Not only is the risk of pregnancy there, but so is the risk of spreading disease.  Not only can you spread disease, but I am still looking for someone, male or female, who has slept around freely who is truly happy with the behavior.  Sex, like anything, naturally (and more natural than most) has consequences.  That's obvious to most, but unfortunately, many  want to get rid of consequences.

See, this is deeper than sex, and deeper than abortion.  Its about being able to satisfy our wants and desires no matter what.  We are a free people, and many think that this freedom extends to everything, as if our existence is the only thing that matters, and anything that gets in the way of our freedoms is bad.  Consequences get in the way of our freedom, and are bad. 

And the idea that abortion is a consequence is equally unfathomable.    Abortion is decidedly not a consequence.  It is a mechanism to avoid the consequence, namely to have and raise a child.  I think this is a blessing, having children, but many are not willing, or got pregnant in circumstances lacking proper context.  Sure, a consequence of abortion might be guilt, and therefore the abortion may be a consequence, but think about it, how the heck do you avoid it all?   The answer is easy.  But that brings us back to the previous point, anything that keeps us from enjoying life is bad, ergo, we should have sex.

But this is not about sex, per se, this is about that consequence free attitude.  Do we really want to live in a place where there are no consequences?  I think not.  I think we are a happier and healthy people when there are rules to play by.  When everyone knows what is expected of them and what will happen when they fail, society is better off.  While abortion is a prime example, and abortion does come down to having free sex, it does exemplify what happens when those expectations are blurred, and folks, since Roe, we are not as happy, and there is more confusion, and society is worse off.

The "me first" society we find ourselves in will destroy individuals, and society.  As individual expectations shift to focus on themselves first, communication and cooperation will become increasingly difficult.  Emotive responses will drive debates before logic and reason.  Tensions will rise, and in order to avoid conflict, folks will shut up and take it, because, as my friend demonstrates, "What is the problem?"

If they only knew...
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